I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize