lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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