Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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