And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
