Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
