woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
