Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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