420 ftw
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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