they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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