rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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