there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
