bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
