Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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