I'm going to jail i love you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dick very happy bro
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
