dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
