I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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