just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
