My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
