I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
