i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
