Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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