i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
