The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
