I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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