first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
