WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
