I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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