Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
