GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You're like the curious george of whores
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
not ubering you a puppy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
