so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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