Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
