her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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