it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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