so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
