on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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