after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
