o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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