I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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