Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have demons in me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
