I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
