we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
