I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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