Me too!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
