I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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