Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
