There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This is my gift to your gina
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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