Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
