omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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