when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
