You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Are we still banned from the library?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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