I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
